Today is a surprisingly emotional day releasing the last batch of poetry from a group of talented men, expressing in verse, their experience of lockdown in prison during this Covid19 crisis.
I say surprising but in reality it was almost to be expected because this project gripped my heart somewhat savagely from the minute it was conceived.
The wider, almost universally positive engagement, through social media and beyond has been a wonderful blessing and has served to affirm a belief that unless we approach those hidden voices with a mindset of there but for the grace of our God go I we will always be more prone to a clumsy stumble than a graceful gallop across social plains.
This exciting collaboration, our second to date, but the first with HMP Edinburgh and a team of 42 panel members I hope, has in the spirit of Prehabilitation helped prepare at least one person for a future challenge.
There is a belief, which I am delighted to embrace, amongst some more learned than I that relationships or perhaps more accurately the quality of relationships and the trust engendered therein are the key to almost every solution. Saughton Sonnets is an example of the collective relationship being greater than the individual.
Watching the connections and relationships develop between professionals, citizens and poets across the past month has been a privilege to witness and knowing the impact of the Saughton Sonnets initiative will go beyond the period of its short existence is incredibly rewarding. You will see that future impact evidenced more clearly later this week when we revisit some of the winning poetry and announce our champion of champions on Friday morning whilst sharing the thoughts of many of the panel who leave the project with lasting change in their minds and hearts.
I’ve shared a few short snippets taken from those comments now simply to give you a flavour of the panels feelings around Saughton Sonnets and Hidden Voices as the project draws close to its conclusion.
From one of the lawyers on our panel – “Being part of the community has been a wonderful bolster to my convictions on criminal defence too. I can see now that I am not alone in my beliefs and not only that, but I have made professional connections that I feel I can now turn to. I have found my involvement to be hugely rewarding. Thank you, Gerry, for having me.”
From a serving police officer – “I have really loved being involved in this competition. I would love to meet the poets too at some point. The testimonials of the life experiences of those in jail during lockdown have made a lasting impression on me. Thanks so much for this experience.”
A wellbeing practitioner – “I have to say that it is impossible to put into words how grateful I feel to have been included in this venture. My life has been unexpectedly enriched and challenged by having access to these poems. I have always loved language and poetry but these creations have touched me deeply and my heart has been both crushed and uplifted, it bled and it sang.”
A citizen with relevant experience – “The interesting bit followed the official publication on the Friday – it was really good to read the thoughts of my fellow community contributors. Clearly they have much more experience in the poetic world and imposter syndrome set in very quickly – what the actual am I doing here, I’m right out my depth etc. etc. However, I got over that very quickly when I was in total agreement with one of the comments – that was exactly how I felt about that poem. I could recall the exact same feelings; perhaps I was more in my depth than I thought! It was only when I went to compare what had been written with my own version that I realised they were the same. I liked the community connection on twitter – Friday mornings became a veritable hive of activity where retweets and likes were the order of the day. You really felt part of something and it was nice to try to extend its reach to the wider community.”
And so once again it is a great honour to share the Hidden Voices platform with a talented group of poets currently resident in HMP Edinburgh and whose courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings via a creative medium such as poetry speaks volumes to both the character and potential of the individuals.
In collaboration with HMP Edinburgh and the Scottish Prison Service it is with great pleasure that First Time Inside (FTI) presents, the final chapter of a four week initiative, our project Saughton Sonnets.
This week we end in style with a double helping of poetry and two competitions in the one output. Please be prepared for another banquet of raw authenticity.
Support from both The Faculty of Advocates in Edinburgh and Beltrami & Co in Glasgow has been instrumental in allowing this project to develop. Section One today is supported by John Scott QC and Section two by Niall McCluskey of Optimum Advocates.
As with every week we leave the final word prior to sharing the poetry to the Governor of HMP Edinburgh.
“It has been a rollercoaster 4 weeks and I have to say that when we first discussed following Barlinnie into the world of lockdown poetry I could not have envisaged in my wildest dreams the impact the poems would have on social media. Great credit goes to the Family Contact Officers here at HMP Edinburgh, who had the idea in the first place, particularly Karen whose initiative has been embraced by staff and residents alike. A massive thank you to the poets too – I know the panel and others on social media have been blown away by the standard of the work. I hope that friends and families have seen what people have been saying and fed that back to the poets. I have tried to explain to them, but I don’t think they believe me. Finally thank you and good luck to First Time Inside and their Hidden Voices platform in whatever they do next and whatever marginalised community’s work they try to showcase next.” David Abernethy – Governor, HMP Edinburgh
Section One of week four supported by John Scott QC.
Sonnet One
Edinburgh Zoo’s
There are two zoos in Edinburgh didn’t you know
One quite famous, the other not so!
Both contain animals of different kinds
Publicity for some, and from public glare otherS kept blind
They both have fences and bars to keep us all in
With ones quite pleasant and others quite grim
One has daylight, with sunshine and rain, public exposure wandering all
Day in a nice green enclosure
The other a grey cell, with clanging doors shut, locked up with a
Stranger with no disclosure
One locked up, a family unit that the public adores
The other locked away for crimes of perception that society abhors
We are both prisoners of the new world order
One has a keeper, the other a warder
One welcomes the keepers at the start of the day
Cleaned out, fed and watered and stimulated all day
The other has warders who bang open doors and give out orders with grunts and roars
Locked up all day, their needs often ignored
The difference in treatment is clearly there to see with both
One has good care, and the other the public are taught to loath
One with a clear direction and the other sadly lacking
Corstorphine Hill, or Saughton Prison, understanding of both is sadly missing
Both contain animals, though not all beasts, endangered species
And men who hopefully can be released
One released by programmes to repopulate their native land
The other, back into society where for them normality is banned
A bright hope for one and recovery it seems
The other no hope, no future, no dreams
One to live in their own habitat, so wild and free
The other from intervention and registers never will be
Studies of one, no understanding of the other
Re-integrate both, or why bother
Endangered species or someone to blame
Our hopes and dreams are all the same
A bright future for both should be society’s shout
Protected, respected when we both get out
Free from the cages, free from the cells
Released back to where we are supposed to dwell
We both deserve freedom our torments to cease
Both back to our homes, we both deserve peace
Endangered species, I hear you all shout we are both the same, we
JUST WANT OUT!
“An astute and fascinating comparative analysis of prisons with zoos. Edinburgh is under the spotlight here, and the lines about the cells being cleaned out/”needs often ignored” are sensational.”
“I really liked how the writer used a compare and contrast between the zoos. It was very authentic and real. There was a clear correlation between how the captured are handled and how the public perception is different across them both. The elimination of hope and the further problems following release were very evident as well.”
“What an intelligently constructed piece of writing. The zoo analogy is applied so intuitively throughout and perfectly captures the conflicting perceptions around the incarceration of people and animals. Another piece of required reading for those with the power to make change.”
“Loved the comparison and comparison between the responses and what we teach others about animals but not extending to our fellow human beings. The hope that people will view prisoners as people and extend that level of empathy and care. That the repercussions go on long beyond the time in prison and affect so much, is that right and how can people be allowed to change?”
“This is my favourite to date! The zoo comparison is perceptively brilliant, sad, witty and thought-provoking.”
Sonnet Two
Corona – Halo
The world of men humbled by a simple virus
Take faith in the ‘Word of God’ and strength in the Lord to inspire us
With panic and confusion across all the nations
From politicians and leaders procastination
Pastors and teachers no sense of direction
Look to the promise of the resurrection
With church doors, shut their ministery closed
Where is the spiritual comfort when we need it most
Where is the belief of the prophets of old, who the coming of Jesus was foretold?
Their undying love and devotion for the Lord in their hearts did hold
Through all their plagues, pestilence, trials and tribulations
Their undying faith was an insperation to all the nations
Their hope in adversity should also inspire us
To pray to God, to deliver us all from the virus
Do not forget God’s mercy and goodness made in his promise
With Jesus’s death upon the cross, our sins he bore and took from us
And with this ultimate sacrifice, his love was made to shine upon us
By his faith and devotion, death and resurrection in our hearts we must save
To walk in the paths of his righteousness against all trials be brave
Our faith in the Lord must be steadfast and strong
Until he calls to eternal life, where at his side we belong
So believe in his word, and put into practice so he can admire us
Like the Passover of old, we will bypass this virus!
Corona is a halo, the spiritual light around our good Lord’s head
Not a virus or plague to fill us with dread
So pray and give thanks to the Lord of all nations
And praise all the key workers and NHS for their dedication
So people, keep faith in the Lord and strive to be pure
And give thanks to God, for the help in giving us a cure.
“A very spiritual and religious poem that invokes faith to help defeat the virus. I feel I am eminently unqualified to judge poetry and even more so that which falls into the non-atheist genre! What I did take from this is the comfort that some can derive from their faith and the belief that a vaccine will be found. It put me in mind of Pascal’s paradox – let us all say a prayer anyway, just in case”
“feels like a powerful tribute to personal faith. Lovely use of rhyme and the overall flow weaves through-out. Strong and intriguing references to religious text and iconography – this piece feels unique.”
“speaks to the weakness of every part of society in the face of the virus and then embarks on a mission of hope to have everyone believe things will get better”
Sonnet Three
Untitled
Sitting here all alone
When will this virus ever be gone
Thinking of you as I always do
We love and affection shining threw
Now they’ve banned nice family visits
And with anyone who’s dear
But if I follow all the rules
I might still be here next year
So when the day’s, weeks and months have passed
And things start to improve
A hug, a smile a long chat
Is what I want from you.
STAY SAFE MY FRIEND’S
THERE’S A RAINBOW AT THE END
“This one hit a raw nerve – the feeling of loneliness, of loss and of longing but finishing with a colourful wish – the lockdown effects from the inside here are very eloquently and succinctly expressed. A short poem with a very long reach.”
“Enjoyed the simplicity of it. Short and snappy and has all of the important points again with family coming through.”
At times in prison a visit is like a medical intervention. The calming effect of the lightest touch, the warming glow achieved from a smile and this poet creates a beautiful marriage of deep sadness and simple wish for a small blessing, whilst taking the time to think of others.”
Sonnet Four
LOCKED-OUT, LOCKED-IN, LOCKED-DOWN
From a world that we knew
To a world that’s all new
Welcome to our world.
The life that we knew
To another we now know
This life we live now, being all locked-down.
We have more time to lie and think
To ruminate all of the news
Time locked-down from our featureless views.
There are prices to pay
So our society would claim
But their mental-health dies, being locked-down too.
The enemies we fight
Claim more than our sins
Stealing from hearts, locked-down deep within.
But Family Love, is there right through
When the door gets locked, they’re all locked too
So what we must do, is stay mentally well
Because one-day soon, doors will unlock for good.
“Clearly expresses the locked down procedures and how it affects everyone. Particular concern about collective mental wellbeing – I like the idea that people behind the prison wall are just as worried, if not more, about what is happening on the outside with loved ones. Then the hopeful finish – is it the sentence or the virus? Are we all coming out of our mental cells? This is one that I reread a few times and I still think I have missed something.”
“I liked the sense of change and movement from one place to another, the impact of those changes and yet the hope and constancy that comes from family.”
“The references to mental health make you wonder about the life in virtual solitary confinement that many are living. The longing for doors to be unlocked for good and the wish for family love is like a self created strategy for coping.”
Sonnet Five
Untitled
Life in lock down. It may get you down
but it’s not just the prison, it’s all around
We’re all doing our part to protect each
other, like nagging friends or protective
Mothers. We honour our staff and the
NHS by banging our doors like King-
Kong’s chest. It may only be for a moment
or two but it shows our love for the
things they do. The whole UK will be
okay if we just bide our time and do
as they say. We may be in prison, but
so is the world. At least this is life in
lockdown and not death’s countdown.
“Clever use of words here – “life in lockdown and not death’s countdown”. The writer chooses to deny the small fact that we are all locked in deaths countdown – it is something that starts the moment we are born! However, the writer manages to convey the hope that is out there, the fact that we are all suffering the lockdown, and that people do appreciate the work of the frontline heroes. I also liked the juxtaposition of nagging friends and protective mothers – it has left me pondering if they are mutually exclusive.”
“Incredible richness of spirit to align lockdown in prison with lockdown outside of the walls and a brave acceptance of life is just what it is.”
“The thought of men standing alone behind their locked doors at 8pm on a Thursday night and in perfect synchronisation, with thunderous gusto, roaring and banging in support of the NHS draws a tear. The ability to accept their position and hope for the wellbeing of the world and not purely themselves could teach many invading public spaces with scant disregard for their fellow mans safety an important lesson in humanity.”
Sonnet Six
Singing in the rain
I have taken the time to think
At some point I must give it back
Outlook is positively less bleak
Not cause there’s worse off than I
While I acknowledge there is
Hard ships I always call rainfall
At one point it wouldn’t stop pouring
One world stood under the same cloud
Taking shelter to keep people dry
Proud of the rainbows appearing
Some people owned an umbrella
Some lacked the strength to put one up
Some shared theirs with those who don’t have one
Some gave up their umbrella to protect others
To be caught in the rain instead
As a kid we believed there was rain beetles
As an adult i’m told their not real
I think their fitting if this storm could sing
A song that makes folk come together
Love is all we need
“Dunno how many others immediately thought about the meaning behind the film as they read this one – how everything is not really as it seems! Superb imagery used in this one – really liked the idea of sharing umbrellas with those who do not have one…the image of the rain generating the rainbows that appeared was immensely strong and positive. How many others sang “love is all we need” at the end! The clue was the rain beetles…this was very very clever.”
“This was beautiful, simple and kind. Reflective and the analogy of the umbrella was touching. The hope and care that came through in this was sweet and clear.”
“loved the umbrella theme, all under one, beautiful imagery”
“I really enjoyed this poem. From the second stanza onwards it is true to its title utilising the metaphor of the rain, with a nod to the rainbows being sketched by children everywhere. My particular favourite was the stanza utilising the umbrella imagery, recognising that everyone has their own circumstance; some use it to help, some sacrifice theirs for others. I felt there was a beauty in the expression of that. There is hope in this author’s piece which he illustrates in his last line that ‘Love is all we need.’”
Sonnet Seven
Locked up Lockdown
Dark is the tunnel we’re treading softly
In search of the end letting light in
A glow so near and then so far
The finish line is a yoyo toying with me
Helpless as a tortoise on it’s back
One minute it’s right in front of face
The next is it back where it started
I’m a shell of the person I once was
Not sure if I’m awake or it’s a nightmare
I can sense a stirring that’s feverish
Head feels scrambled from the confusion
Everybody rushing forward with haste
There is light that refuses to be moved now
Heading for an archway that is half lit
Like a half moon etched on a blackboard
Why is the moon not full at the end
For a moment I feel consoled by the commotion
Glow as close as a knife to my throat
Short lived when the path comes to a fork
Witness them stampede elated to the left
While I’m pulled with force to the right
The tunnel that continues in total darkness
No glow at the end for me to chase
No carrot on a stick that serves to torment me
No loving embrace waiting to cloak me
No end in sight
“A dark sonnet focusing on self-awareness and personal rehabilitation but without an apparent purpose. Some of the images used were brilliant – tortoise on its back and then a shell of the person I once was…both confusing and confirming. It gets across how much of a pure head fuck prison can be with emotions all over the place and thoughts disrupted. I think this will generate more thoughts when I read it again – the thought that they are alone with everyone else going the other way, the writer feeling threatened and constrained…I liked this one!”
“This poem was dark and raw. I was drawn into the tunnel and felt as tho i was looking for a way out myself. I loved the use of language – the yo yo toying with him, the stirring that is feverish. I felt the visceral reaction to being in the dark. I felt hope slipping away as others went in a different direction and the confusion of there being no light. my heart broke with No embrace waiting to cloak me.”
“The writer engages the reader in a bond that makes a lasting connection, belonging in the world together.”
“This for me was a deeply dark piece, reflected in almost every line. The metaphoric imagery within it is stark and striking, and not in a comfortable way. The dark tunnel, the light at the end of the tunnel, the tortoise on its back, the nightmare, the pull into darkness where the path forks all speak of an underlying despair and a sense that he is out of control. He seeks comfort in a “…loving embrace waiting to cloak me…” from all this despair. The author ends the piece bleakly with the line that there is “…no end in sight.”
Sonnet Eight
Socially Distant
I miss people!
I miss talking and chatting, nattering yapping.
Shooting the breeze, catch ups and banter.
wind ups and giggles and uncontrolable laughter.
I miss friends and my family and our daft inside jokes,
not memes, likes, twitter or Facebook pokes!
Covid came along and everything changed,
now there’s distances, locks downs and loved ones estranged,
visits have gone now we feel lost and enraged
lonely as hell locked in this cage!
Phone Calls??
They don’t compare to the love that we share
when gathered together or holding our lovers.
How long will this last is the question we ask
no-one can tell, so lets pray for the days we’re
together again when we’ll look back and say
it’s all in the past, but I missed you my friends,
kids, parents or lovers, it’s taken a while but I’m happy
you’re safe.
“A timely reminder that we are all social animals irrespective of the surroundings – and the sense of loss is palpable in the writing. The fears and insecurity shine through but with hope still at the end. An excellent poem that addresses a whole lot of issues and finishes positively.”
“Skipping opening lines and couplet rhymes keep a steady rhythm to this piece, while the sentiments express human touch and family love over modern-day technology. A very touching piece.”
“Emotionally captures the impact of missing people, all people feel the sense of loss.”
“It captures everyone’s experience of lockdown and everything we have missed with the jarring reminder that some have lost more – no contact with loved ones.”
Sonnet Nine
Isolated
Days turn to weeks our time’s become strange,
we relied on Routines and now everythings changed.
No squeezing our kids, being daft with our dads or hugs
from our mums with the visits all stropped we’re left
feeling numb
Disconnected, marooned, all the faces we miss, phone
calls don’t cut it we’re struck in abyss.
Guys in contingancy cells are living in hell,
how long will this last? No-one can tell.
As Covid runs wild from town to town and country side
small glimmers of hope see our hearts fill with pride
as our NHS heroes and dear Captain Tom inspire
so many and kept pushing on.
I know times are tough and this lock downs a pain
stuck in our cells it’s like we’re going insane,
day after day that all feel the same but stay strong
and remember we’ll meet again.
“This talked about some of the iconic news items that have surfaced recently – Captain Tom and his amazing fundraising and our NHS heroes. Another reminder that those on the inside pay a lot of attention to what is happening on the outside. It gives a good appraisal of the new regimes and the problems generated therein. The finishing line was taken from Dame Vera’s song, also used by HM big Betty in her address to the nation. Sad that Vera passed so recently but a glowing testimony to the songs she sang.”
“I thought this was simply a brilliant poem, and the final line in reference to times of war, particularly fitting.”
“All the wee things we take for granted are brought into an even sharper focus in this poem. The importance of routine and family contact comes through loud and clear. Loved the references to NHS and Captain Tom, finishing with Vera Lynn, there was a feeling of nostalgia in this. Loved it.”
Sonnet Ten
Begrudgingly Magnanimous
(Bitter Sweet)
It can have me feeling helpless
Not being able to help is
A rollercoaster of emotions
Overwhelmed by the highs and lows
Tales off loss are heart-wrenching
The ones we bare thinking about
A Mother giving birth to a bundle of life
She wouldn’t live to cradle
A shop keeper delivering essentials infected
It wasn’t essential he fell doing so
His family now grieving a divine being
Like so many others with front line loved ones
Back to back doing shifts to protect us
The grocers and sharers, the Doctors and carers
The nurses and foodbanks, all are our saviours
While the leaders can’t answer one question
Can’t you protect everyone that protects us
Our eyes shouldn’t see that you don’t
None of the glory for the powers that be
It’s on ice and reserved for the VIP’s
Set aside for the people who ventured together
Your the sun shining through tempestuous weather
Tales of your efforts warm the heart
Good deeds stitched together draped round us
I’m asked how lockdown feels being locked up
The term chocolate teapot pours on the page
All I can offer is words that are jot
In exchange for your blood, sweat and tears
A round of applause for your all
Every day for the rest of our years
“I failed to see where the begrudging started – to me this was a message of the huge debt owed by all for the work they were doing on and at the front line. Some have paid the ultimate sacrifice. The line about the Mother was ambiguous but very hard hitting – was it the mother or the new child who passed? So many unanswered questions… The alleged leaders were not begrudged praise – they were shown up for what they are – clueless, ineffective and not worthy of those who are doing the vital stuff. The chocolate teapot pouring on the page made me laugh aloud, a clever use of an old phrase.”
“True gratitude for the efforts and bravery to services on the front line, and their families experiencing their loss. The lack of recognition in how they’re valued by those in power.”
“This spoke to me of a sense of helplessness being unable to contribute/ help during this pandemic. A deeply humbling insight.”
‘A mother giving birth to a bundle of life she wouldn’t live to cradle .’ This poem describes so distressingly well the torturous experiences many have endured during this time . There are some great metaphors . My favourite is ‘ Good deeds stitched together draped around us .’
Sonnet Eleven
Home is where the heart is
Home is where the heart resides
But I’m not there right now
Home is where I know every path and trail
But I’m walking just one path
It has no end in sight
Home’s where my best friends got excited
But I wonder if they still bark
Since I’ve not came back
Home is where my birthday present is chained up
But I’m insecure about the cycle I’m on
Home is where the family I love are on lockdown
But I’m locked down locked up locked out
Home is the place in that I can feel safe
But people don’t feel safe
When I am at home
Home is the place that drives me to change
But what if the change is my absence
What if I never go home
Home is the place I think of the most
Where bits of my heart are sent from
Telephone calls and sentiments post
Locked down I feel heartless
No hugs and no smiles
No bits brought inside
As I sit and write this
Home is where the heart resides
“A particularly powerful poem that leaves the reader under no illusions about the effect of the virus! It is full of insecurity, self-doubt and reflection – a combination of raw emotion and words used to great effect. An insight into the importance of family and relationships if the desistance process is to be successful. This is a poem with hidden depths in plain sight.”
“This really does highlight ‘home is where the heart is’. Such deep and considered perspectives of the warmth & love experienced, whilst acknowledging this isn’t a safe place for the family they love as a result of behaviours. To truly feel that current separation from family.”
“This should be read by everyone in the “lock them up and throw away the key brigade”. What a perfect summation of the lack of care and understanding applied to those we shut away and the assumptions that are made about the simple lives the vast majority aspire to be allowed to lead. Shame on all of us.”
“This for me is the most outstanding of them all. I loved the way the author flipped between what is missed to just what is. There is a tinge of sadness lacing the lines of this poem, in their worries about the impact of their presence in the home and the effects of their absence from it.”
Sonnet Twelve
Lockdown
- The lockdown means visits every day, from every thought you’ve worked so hard to keep away.
- It’s praying every single night to a God no where in sight that those you love will be alright.
- It’s looking up at the nightime stars through reinforced iron bars while the world outside drifts ever far.
- It’s lonliness and fear, vague answers that are unclear to questions no one wants to hear.
- It’s getting tea at 4 as if we’re 4 knowing we got 6 hours more to endure, pacing the floor, bunker to door wondering whether it goes on 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or more.
- It’s getting locked up for public protection then getting locked up extra to protect us from the public!
- It’s watching our brave doctors and nurses get praised by politicians that spent years emptying their purses.
- It’s waiting all day for just 5 minutes on the phone to remind those we love they’re not alone.
- It’s taking time to write a letter to say, ‘stay strong things will get better’.
- It’s finding the inner drive to survive and thrive, to not become defeated as day on day the routine’s repeated.
- It’s finding strength you didn’t know was there, accepting responsibility we all now share, finding new ways to show we care and pushing the limits of what we can bear.
- It is standing strong, it’s digging deep, it’s finding a little peace to sleep, it’s focussing on ‘just today’ and all the other overused clichés.
- It’s preparing to pick up the pieces and begin again and knowing, no matter how long this last, it WILL END.
“Poetry by numbers – and this covered the points very comprehensively. It had politics; it had doubts; it had hope; it had analysis; it had a whole lot in it. I particularly liked line 7 where the hypocrisy of the leaders was very clear! Stunningly good line there. I liked the pace as it picked up taking you through the redemption and reflection of the writer. This is a very cleverly constructed and thought provoking piece.”
“It’s getting locked up for public protection then getting locked up extra to protect us from the public” – extraordinary lines. A real quixotic romanticism in this poem with a hope, rather than a belief, that things will turn out fine in the end.”
“To be experiencing such restrictions and containment whilst having thoughts of family and workers. To offering strength when feeling so vulnerable, and taking each day as a way of managing. Really felt those emotions.”
“This poem took me to the heart of this unprecedented time where our lives have shrunk to the ‘here and now’ and we are all challenged to ‘push the limits of what we can bear’…no one more than those kept in what is solitary confinement for months now.”
“I found this to be exceptionally clever, a great comparison and really something that people not involved in the CJS can learn from. It was a sad reflection that he feels that people released from prison don’t have a chance and it was a poem that was clearly written from the heart. Really enjoyed reading it and have read it a few times now.”
Once again having read though section one of todays poems from the men resident in HMP Edinburgh and considered all of the judges comments it is almost a travesty that we had to score each of the poems at all because they were all fantastic and a credit to the writers themselves.
The raw, powerful emotions conveyed by the men so creatively throughout the pieces I’m sure, as with the judges themselves, take the readers on a voyage of challenging feelings and discovery.
That said we did, as part of the role of being a panel, score the poems and our top three for this section one of week four are.
Our winners are:
1st Place – Sonnet Twelve – LockDown
2nd place – Sonnet Eleven – Home is where the Heart is.
3rd place – Sonnet One – Edinburgh Zoo’s
Congratulations to our winners and a massive thank you to all of our authors who have selflessly provided a window into another reality for us all to absorb this week.
Section two of week four is supported by Niall McCluskey of Optimum Advocates
Sonnet Thirteen
Hope You Can’t Relate
Just when you thought life couldn’t worse
Locked in a box put away
It only went and got worse than it was
Didn’t it
I know people are feeling alone
I can relate if it’s magnafied
I can see how scared the world has got
I can relate if it’s enhanced
Not many out there can relate to me
Only family
But that’s on a whole other meaning
You probably don’t get it
I know eveyone is feeling lost
I can relate if the feeling is times a hundred
I can see how bad your anxiety has got
I can relate on a higher proportion
I can see how it sounds for you all on lockdown
But I can’t relate and you can’t either
Even if it’s amplified
For what it’s worth
I hope you can never relate with me
On what life is like when your locked up
Twenty three hours a day
Door locked and forgotten about
From 4.30pm to 8.00am
I sincerely hope you can never relate
Oh yeah
Do me a favour
Don’t tell me you now know how it feels
When your door isn’t locked and your at home
Thanks
“Poetry is subjective and the good thing about this sonnet is that I get a new view each time I read it. I can relate to the macro message but think I am missing some micro imagery. It seems surly and rude but it is actually an appeal telling the people that even though it is worse inside, please deal with your own stuff first. It highlights the false equivalence between lock down and lock up. There is a strong feeling of separation at the start and it just continues to get darker…this is a thought provoking bit of poetry.”
“A real understanding and care for how those of us in the outside are feeling through lockdown and a really honest wish that none of us ever truly come to know how it feels to go through this experience from the writer’s perspective. The wee “thanks” at the close is a plea for none of us to patronise those locked up in lockdown with false empathy.”
“Hope you can’t relate. A stark reminder that I have no real understanding of prison life. In truth my life is a completely different experience and no amount of compassion means that I have any right to assume even a small amount of understanding. This had a profound effect on my son who just said wow, i have no idea how fortunate i am. Felt acutely aware of being humbled.”
“Painfully open About the difficult situation and that no one understands. Honest view of prison life and the feelings associated with a hint of anger.”
Sonnet Fourteen
isolation
Day in Day out locked up and locked down the
sun shines through what’s left of my soul, prisoners
living Day to Day boredom creeping in Nobody left
to talk to other than my own Reflection
No more visitors to come see me, escapsim deflates me
with every passing minute of every passing Day isolation sets
in and the cabin fever is getting to me once and for all
As the sun sets another day gone isolation sets back in
and I’m alone again with the only human contact I get is
from my television with the sun gone and the moon high
in the sky I get ready to sleep waiting to relive the same
day all over again
isolated
“Groundhog Day of the soul! A strongly worded poem that tells it like it is – the loss of liberty is the punishment and that is hard to take. It is of course much worse in lockdown. Prison can be harmful and soul destroying and that comes across very clearly in this.”
“clever use of enjambment – helps pull the reader through the piece allowing certain lines to run on together. Feels engaging and honest in its overall tone.”
“This poem reflects the cruelty of this virus and the pain of lack of human connection. What really spoke to me was that this could be written about anyone shielding – the common connection of loneliness.”
Sonnet Fifteen
Untitled
The quarantine cannot fail
To let everyone feel what its like in jail
At least in your home you can go room to room
To get you a break from the doom and gloom
Sharing a home with others too
At least can help to get you through
Before we had a routine to get us through our stay
But now we’ve nothing to help us through each day
We’re locked up and isolated from out-side
But still from the virus we cannot hide
All over the world it doesn’t seem real
So many now anxious they all want to squeal
They all just have to take it on the chin
And accept the fact they have to stay in
I know right now it’s such a sin
That because of the virus you have to stay in
Talk about memories and your heart will surely skip
When each time you remember a special trip
Make the most of this time as precious it will be
Sometime in the future just wait and see
I cannot wait for this time to end
For time with my family I’ll get to spend.
“A poem that screams about loss and separation, and the pains that this causes. It makes good use of some early political comments about taking it on the chin – controversial than and still controversial now. Good memories are currency inside – a call to make good use of them.”
“An anxious and telling tale that the writing is feeling low, desperate for normality to return. Comparison with the outside world highlights the differences and desperation. Heart-felt, as much as it was harrowing.”
“The thought that a tiny room offers no escape from a virus if it invades your space is spine tingling. The suggestion that on the outside we can open a door and run to another room or seek help highlights a despair and fear of the unknown. The utilisation of memories as an escape is simply wonderful.”
Sonnet Sixteen
Locked In
Remember the visits,
Remember the gym,
Seems so long ago,
Now that we’re locked in.
Remember the rec time,
Remember the church,
We’re missing our friends,
We seem out of touch.
Remember the nurses,
Remember the staff,
Cause they are still working,
It’s really no laugh.
Remember on Thursday,
Remember at 8,
The banging of cell doors,
The sound is so great.
Remember the reason,
Remember the why,
We’re doing it so that,
Many more do not die.
So, remember have patience,
Remember be strong,
It will all end sometime,
Let’s hope it’s not long.
“I liked the rhythm to this poem. Remember remember the way it starts, and then some messages that cut to the heart. It talks of the bad stuff and being remote, but it never fails to still talk about hope.”
“This one made me smile. Strangely nostalgic and melancholy. Remembering the seemingly small routines of prison and pining for the normality to be back. There was also a sense of our shared thanks on a Thursday night, I could almost hear those cell doors banging and a sense of we’re all in this together. Good wee read.”
“This work delivers a message for everyone built on our shared place in this time. Delivers a strong message of being in this together and why this is important for being safe.”
“the positive sense of message to hold the good times and remember those struggling and who have no choice to work and a sense of thanks to them.”
“A hopeful little Poem that focuses on the positives and I found it a really uplifting piece of work”
Sonnet Seventeen
MAKING YOGURT
A gloopy mix,
Of ‘Graham’s Low Fat’
And milk
Sit in an old Pot Noodle pot,
Perched on a pipe.
Warm…waiting
For the transformation to occur.
Tomorrow
I will eat yoghurt
A Milkybar.
Kettle-melted, thick and sweet
Nuts, raisins, cereal
Combined:
A crunchy conglomeration
Of childhood memories;
The promise of delayed gratification
Next week
I will have chocolate crispies every day.
A used ice-cream tub,
Filled to the top with tea leaves,
And a tiny, seemingly insignificant seed,
Salvaged from my plate.
They sit on a barred windowsill
In Spring sunshine,
Sprouting new life.
This summer
I will eat fresh tomatoes
My most prized possession:
An Encyclopedia of Plants,
Three inches thick,
Heavy and beautiful.
Almost spiritual,
As if the whole of creation were condensed
Into its precious pages
Next year
I will be a gardener.
“This is one of these clever poems whose meaning is very much in the subjective eye of the reader. I like it because it is forward looking, the writer is using good images of what the current situation is but there are plans for personal improvement. There is a tacit acceptance of growth and that is positive, with a clear goal in sight…and all with a bit of spirituality thrown in for good measure.”
“I loved this. A real poet’s eye. Steps outside the box to write about the gold at the end of the rainbow. Glorious language used throughout, including “Kettle-melted”, “a used ice cream tub, filled to the top with tea leaves”, and “an encyclopaedia of plants” makes this my first place.”
“This was a beautifully evocative description of transformation of things and people. Beautiful use of language, creating a truly memorable piece of writing. Really special and unforgettable.”
“This was actually my out and out favourite of all the poems. I both smiled and cried as I read, the story that was being told was of making do, finding a way, ingenious, inventiveness when supplies are sparse. I could smell the yogurt and the crispies, feel the heat on the window ledge. The hope and passion of growing the seeds. My heart sang with the hope of sun and growth and a garden. I found myself willing the future for this author, that his desire to be a gardener will manifest.”
“ingenuity here is priceless, looking beyond the situation to what is possible to achieve”
Sonnet Eighteen
BANTER
What you lookin’ at, you fucking dick?
Shut the fuck up. You taking the mick?
See in ma town, they’d punch in yer cunt
Oh, yeah, big-man, gonna take a punt?
Fuck you, prick, ya fuckin’ fuck.
Come aheed then, if you think yer in luck.
Wank-faced dick. Cunt-face. Wanker.
See yer wifie, I’m gonna tank ‘er.
Twat
Tit
Munter
Fucker
Fat
Git
Cunt
Cock-sucker.
But stop…wait, this ain’t no joke
Why not just talk like normal folk
What, you mean we could just be kind?
What you on? You out yer mind?
Yeah, after all, I’ve been told
We look like bairns o’ six year old.
Aye?
Yeah.
Oh.
So?
How about we end it, bro?
…
…
Cunt.
“Roaring with laughter at this one. It is exactly how I would imagine Irvine Welsh would square up to James Kelman, or any other Sweary McSwearface, if they were both in Saughton. No matter the confrontation, you cannot be first to back down! This brought back to mind the tired old argument about swearing being a lack of vocabulary. I could summon up my extensive sagacity and loquaciousness to posit a direct negative to your normative assertion, or I could just say “Shut up and fuck off!!!” – I certainly know which response wins it for me in terms of brevity and emotion.”
“This reads like a freestyle rap battle – in Scottish patter. It manages to diss the opponent but maintains an edge of humour and reason, almost turning in on itself until that final hilarious line. Pretty smart.”
“A poem of two halves! The first half full of banter, raw and shared but the second half more thoughtful, considering change. Fab!”
“This poem was raw and bald in its language. The title led me to laugh and find humour in it and surprisingly it lacked the anger of other poems which was so strange because the language was aggressive.”
“I know this piece is deliberately outrageous with every swearword insult it could possibly come up with. I know some will accuse it of being sensational because of all the expletives but this piece had subtle intelligence in its construction. The first stanza is out to grab you by the face whilst the second kind of startles you with its conservative language. Just brilliant. Had me sniggering like a kid when you hear your folks saying bad words.”
Sonnet Nineteen
Time to Forgive
With each day that time goes by
The more time I have to reflect
And then I always wonder why
Then I sometimes reflect
Oh! Why has this happened to me
Do they really know what they have done
But only if they could see
Would they have done what they have done
We know the pen is mightier than the sword
But are the lies over time greater
It was their lies and they took their word
So you tell me what is greater
With my life time ticking by
I lie down full of worries
So why should I just sit by
When I should be full of memories
As with memories they come from love
A love that can not be changed
As I look to the one above
I know that my love will not be changed
Although I know what they have done
I know I have nothing left to give
As our will will be done
I know that I can forgive
“I wish I had more time to reflect upon this one. I am touched by the depth of emotion shown, but there are also hints of regret, self-doubt and anger at times. This is a roller coaster of emotions.”
“Leaves the reader with strong feelings of redemption, forgiveness and the wish to make reparation for harm caused.”
“This was the first time I read a poem that had me wondering about the guilt of the author. I feel this piece almost alludes to a possibility that the author may not have been guilty of the crime he is incarcerated for. If you look at the poem form that perspective you see an author who is grappling with the frustration of having been cheated but ultimately illustrates the strength and willingness to learn to forgive.”
“Sonnet 19 made me feel sad at this injustice. This poet describes so well his loss, his missing of making memories with his family but all testimony to him and his decision that it is time to forgive.”
Sonnet Twenty
Untitled
Lockdown
You think the people outside have it easy
Lockdown
You think you have it easy.
Lockdown
They get to go out and do there shopping and see friends and family and take the dogs out
Lockdown
You get your 30 mins walkabout in the yard.
You get your phone calls.
You get your showers.
You get to see and speak to other people.
Lockdown
Wate until they come and take your cell mate to an outside hospital with suspect Covid-19
Lockdown
Then they come in the morning and say, ‘Sorry’ But you are on Big time lockdown
Lockdown
Now my lockdown is seeing a screw 4 times a day to give me my food and for him to do his count.
Lockdown
No phone.
No shower.
No walkabout.
No nothing.
Lockdown
Seeing a screw in a Apron, goggles and a mask and gloves 3 times a day, if it was any other day you would piss your self laughing at the site of him
Lockdown
Now I’m sitting here on my own shitting myself, am I going to be here next week???
Time will tell.
Lockdown
Please just get on with it and do what needs to be done, and let them do what needs to be done.
Lockdown
Thank you
SPS NHS
(Drawing of rainbow)
“The main thought about this is the crispness of the language used – not flowery or equivocal, just plain, straight forward and simple. A hard contrast between inside and out and the lockdown implications on both sides. The middle portion about the worry and anxiety, heightened by their co-pilots demise, was hard-hitting and truthfully brutal. Finishing with the message that it is just people doing their jobs and with the rainbow showed an underlying respect that was missing from the first part. I liked this one.”
“The vulnerability, the restrictions, the loss of small things, the loss of connection, an appreciation of the challenges for prison staff, & actions required to help out.”
“I just loved the descriptive simplicity of the language and the clarity of the writer’s wish to just be able to do whatever has to be done to get through this. Then a simple, grateful thanks to the NHS and SPS. Really memorable.”
Sonnet Twenty One
Lockdown where dose it end?
Dark clouds hang above
all cities of the world.
Damn politicians without
real ambitions to help
us (prisoners) get through
but do they really mean
what they say
or rather
Scream
their beliefs out to you?
How did all this come about?
is this pandemic here to stay
for now, we can only hope, dream
it go’s away.
Somewhere
Anywhere
yet, in the face of this situation
we are forced to bear,
new horrors
of course,
it’s not what it was
meant to be
or what you expect
to see on TV
so where dose it end?
we’re all bound by invisible chains
a bind that come out of nowhere,
just come, but why
are we surprised?
what did we expect?
how do we plan
to get out of this.
Madness
I wish all to remember to give
yourself (if needed) permission
to have thoughts when you’re
disturbed or distressed over
the events currently being
experienced by the hole
world.
But remember
our prison, our dungeon, is in
- it’s in our own mind, our own thinking
Remember:
The quality of your thoughts
determines the quality of your life
The true person is not
anyone in particular;
but, like the deep blue
colour of the limitless
Sky,
It is everyone,
everywhere, in the
world.
“An interesting question posed in an interesting way. A simple treatise on the effects of the pandemic on mental health across the world – and the way it then suggests we are all prisoners of our own thinking was sublime. There was a troubled edge to this poem that comes across strongly along with a concern for others.”
“the quality of your thoughts determine the quality of your life”. What a statement to stand by.”
“This poem meanders along sharing a message which suggested a troubled outlook and then develops into the most creative and compassionate ending.”
Sonnet Twenty Two
5 Minute Phone Call
Self isolation not just the
bad boys and girls the
whole nation
Strange situation being locked
down with the rest of the
nation
5 minute phone call not
long at all
I hear the moans and groans
from other people waiting on
phones
Loved ones locked in there
homes sitting by the phones
saying this is hard with no disregard
I keep up the fascad that
things are bad knowing
I would be glad to be living
In there bad
I wouldn’t be sad I would
be glad living in there
situation being locked down
with the rest of the nation
with no frustration
I miss getting a kiss or a
hug because that is my drug
I’m having withdraws from
her touch thats what I
miss so much
Living in this strange situation
with the rest of the nation
“This clearly highlights the benefits and total necessity of contact with the outside world. It was interesting to note that the writer puts on a face when listening to the whinges of the outside world – a stoic defiance in the face of ever-increasing adversity on the inside. Again, the articulation of relationships and the need for the stimulus of touch – something that I found touching! Finishing with the clear message, we are all in this together…sort of!”
“The yearning of a hug, to be held, this truly demonstrates the impact of not having that connection with loved ones. You can feel the hurt- it’d be hard not being touched.”
“What comes to mind is you stand in my shoes; your lockdown is not the same as my lockdown.”
Sonnet Twenty Three
Lockdown
Trying to get thru this
it’s our loved ones we miss
Even tho wear not thair
we can all show how much
we caire
Fighting this virus
seems a mess
but we can all help
buy doing our best
We’ll bang and clap
for the best
Who will forget our NHS
Keeping us happy and calm
it’s been a challenge for our big man
Hats off to our officers
who put up with a lot
It’s becoming a pain
this lockdown again
this time is different
this time its fair
For everyone out thire
Friends and family
We want you to know we still care
I know it’s hard for now
Sunny days will come around
We are all thriving we are all surviving
“A poem of positive positivity. It is almost like there is no pandemic or risk – it is all about concern for family on the outside and respect for the NHS. There is even a recognition that it must also be tough for officers! I liked the line “this time is different, this time its fair” – in my minds eye this is someone who has hurtled through the revolving door a few times…and not all of them were justified, in their humble opinion.”
“Summed up perfectly, what a crazy time this is; to having gratitude for services, to being vulnerable and disconnected from family. Really hit the spot!”
Reaching out to tell family to take care and they are cared for whilst acknowledging their own disconnect is powerful. The praise for staff and NHS speak to a humanity and the positive ending is a credit to the poet.”
Sonnet Twenty Four
No Laughing Matter
It’s no laughing matter
When we are all locked down
We miss our loved ones
that’s a fact
Trying to keep smiling
doing this time
Nothing to do
But write to them
Sometimes it gets lonely
when you’re feeling low
but don’t feel down
happy times will come around
this is a start to open your heart
always know you’re not far apart
you’re loved one will always
be in you’re heart
“I first looked at these on my phone – the perimeter of this poem looked like the key space on a lock – a visual representation of what is happening globally. It had the undercurrent of putting on a face, sadness at separation but still some hope for the future. Short, succinct and straight to the point.”
“The pain of being cut off from family is palpable here but the willing to find a way to communicate and remain positive speaks to a strong character.”
As with Section One all of our poets in Section two have reached out to us in with a raw authenticity and again choosing favourites has been difficult but again we have chosen our section two top three.
Our winners are:
1st Place – Sonnet Seventeen – Making Yoghurt
2nd place – Sonnet Sixteen – Locked In
3rd place – Sonnet 18 – Banter
Congratulations to our winners and a massive thank you to all of our authors who have like their peers before them selflessly provided a window into another reality for us all to absorb this week.
Thank you for taking the time to visit the First Time Inside / Hidden Voices blog today, we hope you found The Saughton Sonnets as powerful, challenging and uplifting as we did ourselves. Apologies if your own particular favourite didn’t win todays competition but I’m sure you will agree there are no losers on display here today.
Thank you to all those who Sponsored our output this week – Please do not hesitate to contact us if you would like to do the same on our remaining output which is taking place daily throughout this week including an opportunity to sponsor our Champion of Champions output this coming Friday.
First Time Inside would like to take this opportunity to thank the writers for trusting us to share their talent on our Hidden Voices platform as well as the staff at HMP Edinburgh and Scottish Prison Service for trusting us, whilst sharing the content, to respect the residents and the environment they currently find themselves living in and a massive thank you to our extensive panel who made todays output possible by volunteering their time to contribute to an initiative which we hope will offer many food for positive thought.
This is the last batch of poetry from HMP Edinburgh and our Saughton Sonnets but each day this week we will review a previous winner with some thoughts from our judges on their experience of being on the panel and part of the Hidden Voices community these past four weeks culminating in a crowning of our champion of champions this coming Friday.
If you would like to enquire about advertising with, sponsoring output or supporting the work of First Time Inside / Hidden Voices contact us at [email protected]
Have a wonderful week, stay safe, follow the Govt. guidelines and take a moment to reflect on the experience shared by the courageous men of HMP Edinburgh today @FirstTimeInside out
