What is a Stiffy? Well, when you receive a “Stiffy” from your lawyer it usually costs you money. That said the message does normally arrive by post, on expensive letterhead and with legal prose included all of which help determine the value to some extent. The prison version of a “Stiffy” is usually transported from author to recipient in a less heralded mode of delivery but with equal efficiency.

The message that we are trying to deliver here at First Time Inside, in however irreverent tones at times, is that we are passionate about making that first experience of prison a little less traumatic for the first time offender and equally keen to add value to those entrusted with providing legal services to their clients throughout the legal process to the same end.

How we choose to deliver our “Stiffy” is very much client led but we believe that educating both solicitors and prospective prisoners on the realities of prison life can only be a positive thing.

We will encourage solicitor/legal representative clients to not only ask what our standard services are but also to think how they best feel they can utilise our “expertise” for want of a better description. For example, in discussion with a prospective client last week they asked if we could recreate the prison environment for them. Whilst the answer to that is physically no we have taken some time to think how we may best introduce elements of that environment onto legal representatives in a seminar or meeting format. Challenging the norms and recognising the value of the services on offer are what we are focussed on and we are open to creating bespoke solution for all where possible of course.

By now you’ve probably figured out what a “Stiffy” is and hopefully at www.firsttimeinside.co.uk we deliver ours effectively.

Prison can be a dark place but also, surprisingly, a source of creativity as the darkly humoured verses taken from a longer poem by an inmate entitled “Discovering Mordor” illustrate below;

“Entry to Prison was such a Shock

An Alien Environment Devoid of a Clock

Felt like Donald in search of Daffy

Surrounded by Extras in the Star Wars Cafe


Silver Razor Wire Blocks road to Heaven

Through a window Dominated By Seven

A Tall Grey Wall Stands Defiantly Resolute

My Resolve to Leave Here Fiercely Resolute


Supportive Staff Worn Down by Offenders

No Team Can Win Without Committed Defenders

Patience Tested By Insult and Derision

Easy to Lose Sight of Vocational Vision


Searches, Spins and Cameras Galore

Privacy Lost With No Exit Door

Work Pits With Quotas To Push You Hard

A Polite Rhyme Would Challenge The Bard”

copyrite @firsttimeinside 2019

Please do not hesitate to challenge our creativity and add value to your own services.

All queries can be directed via our Contact Form or direct to [email protected]


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